You just don't appreciate my effort, that's it.

I'm trying hard to keep the conversation going but you're obviously not.

The times when you were so upset, I was there for you, I cared. But where were you when I needed you the most?

I can't figure you out, I don't know what exactly are you thinking or planning to do.

I'm tired of your nonsense. Don't only talk to me nicely when I flare up or when I do some serious talking with you. 

If I ask you a question, you should know that I obviously know the truth, if not I wouldn't even bother asking. But why, why did you still lie to my face. 

This gave me a thought to ponder upon, all this while, was there a single thing you told that wasn't a lie? 

Yes, this is what you did to me, by lying for the first time & apparently more lies to come. Heard before a quote, "Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, forever to repair" ? You've broken that trust I had in you, and I will NOT and never believe your words anymore. 

Sometimes I wonder, why did you came into my life, why did I met you, why did I get to know you..

Maybe it's to teach me a lesson, that I should not trust anybody that easily because they will all end up betraying that trust and leave your life like everyone else did. 

People, do yourself a favor. If you don't intend to stay in my life, just leave now okay. Don't be like this pretentious person who told me that he will always be there, but ended up slowly leaving my life like everyone else.

Sorry for always being so sensitive and emotional, but I'm just feeling so unappreciated at times and I feel like I probably should just disappear and see if anyone bothers to look for me, & I know what the answer will be.. I'm fine now, don't worry. I know who cares and who don't, so don't have to text me or anything heh. I love and treasure each and everyone of my besties. 

x

This post was supposed to be up long ago, but I forgot about it ><

So we celebrated Evan's birthday the day before her actual birthday which was 11 August. 

It was supposed to be a surprise for Evan, but apparently, we failed hahaha.

Such a long and epic story, but I'm too lazy to elaborate sorry ><

Anyways, enjoyed myself with the girls and I really appreciate them for taking time out despite their busy school work and stuff. I make it sound like it's my birthday celebration haha, but I just feel touched by their simple act. From all these, you know who are your true friends, and who are not. ok, i don't want to say anymore in case I get pissed off again. All that aside, I hope that she enjoyed herself and our friendship will last :)

x

Supposedly pedo face hehe 

Study date with Pat and Nyu on Saturday which ends with an impromptu stayover at nyu's house :)

We ended up not studying and wasted our money at coffee club. 

Left airport around 11pm and nyu's mum drove us to their house. Nyu cooked pasta for us because we're all hungry :b

Played "what if" and had a great laugh hahaha and it turned out just a lil' sick. It's nothing compared to when you're playing with guys, but glad that the girls were open enough :)

They fell asleep around 7 am and left me alone with the laptop that can't play music hahah.

pat woke up around 8 and went to the washroom while I slept for around 5 mins. Went home with pat, took a shower then head to church. Reached home and only slept at 6+pm. 

Slept all the way till the next day 9+ am. 

Went to school and study, which wasn't very productive. So, in the end I went to meet min and "study". WE DID NOT STUDY AT ALL. Ok, maybe i did, but definitely not her. She was just going on and on about her kpop stuff hahah. But it was such an epic day with her, laughed like mad. love ya min. 

okay, till then. 

x

So..it's the last day of school and also the last day with my class :(

Though at the start of the school, i really couldn't adapt to them, but now I feel really comfortable with some of my classmates. Sadly, all of us are gonna separate and join other classes.

This sucks. I really love my classmates, though there were mini quarrels, but at least no dramas.

I'm really scared that my new class is gonna be bad, or I'm not gonna be close to them since they will most probably have their own clique alr..sigh.

Why? Why every time when I get used to something, it has to change..hate goodbyes, hate changes. I want to stay in this class with them..

nvm, will just look at the bright side. Maybe it'll be even better than this class, HOPEFULLY.

Goodbye everybody, will miss you guys.

So, since it was the last day with them, I stayed back with Melissa and watch them play soccer :)

Went to breadboard for lunch and played the cup song thing. haha 

Afterwards head to ITAS and played the "What if" game. It was damn funny, and i think it was the first time I laughed so badly with my classmates LOL.

Head to the field behind ITAS and sat down to watch them play soccer.

Can i list down their names? haha i'm afraid next time I'll forget them hahaha.

Brandon, Azrul, Iman, Haris, Khalis, Jeremy, Nehe, Ashiq, Stephen, Raymond, Elina, and Melissa.

Then Pat & Min came to look for me for a short while & left.

Melissa left at 4 and Elina left at 6. 

Yay, and I learnt how to skate using long board and I slipped haha so paiseh. Luckily I grab on to the fence. But it was damn fun, I scared later I addicted to skating sia hahah.

Slack around with the guys till 7+ then head opp school for dinner with Iman, Khalis, Brandon and his friend. Had a nice chat with them till 8+ and took bus back with Khalis.

Great day spent with them, this shall remain as a good memory. :)

x

heh this is random but how do you guys say goodnight?

A lot of my friends, or I can say most of them always say "Nights" whenever we end our conversation. 

Is it just me, but I find it so insincere when people say nights. It's the end of a tiring and long day, adding the word "good" in front makes it sound 100x better because you're wishing that the person will have a good rest ahead. I'm so weird hahaha but that's just how I feel ...so yeah you know what to do HAHA. If you realize, most of the time I'll always say "Goodnight" instead of "nights". And the only time I say "nights" is most probably when I'm unhappy with you, but I don't want to let you know, so this is like my mini revenge heh. 

Before my mum or I sleep, we would always say "Goodnight, God bless you, Jesus love you, I love you" Yeah I know it's such a long goodnight greeting, but it has already become a habit of ours and I love it :) If I don't say it, i'll feel so weird and I can't fall asleep. LOL.

Just randomly thought of this, okay bye guys. GOODNIGHT

Honestly, I don't really have the motivation to blog and I don't have the time as well.

Poly life is taking too much of my time. Actually, I do have the time. But those spare time I have, I want to spend it on giving myself a break. To be more specific, poly life is taking away my energy instead of time. I don't know, everyday after I reach home, I'll be so tired I just want to sleep the whole day. Projects after projects and having to worry about presentation and all that shit.

I don't enjoy my poly life so far. I've always heard that poly is the most fun transition in your life, but it's not like that, at least for me.

I feel so stressed up. I feel like I'm forcing myself to study something that I have absolutely no interest in, just for the sake of a god damn diploma. I can feel myself dreading to go for every single lesson and not understanding anything after each lesson. It sucks. My results are dropping and I can't afford to do badly for my first semester as I have streaming for my specific course next semester. I've already did badly for my O's, and this is sort of like my second chance for me to get into the course that I have at least a lil' interest in, which is Biomedical Engineering. 

Still remember my motivation to work really hard in poly when I first got my O'lvl results, but apparently, the motivation is dying.. I got to pull myself together and stop letting my mind wander around, wasting my time on unnecessary stuff. I need better time management.

So...probably won't be blogging until examinations are over, or if I'm feeling down or anything. 

take care xoxo,